Members Q & A
We love question and answer because it gives us the opportunity to clarify not only to the questioner but also ourselves that unconditional happiness truly does exist in every situation.
While we try to answer as may questions as we can, it is impossible to get to them all and know that an answer to one question serves all of us.
Question from Julie:
My beloved dog has just died and I am experiencing deep greif, how is it possible for me to feel happy in this situation?
Answer:
Thanks for you Question Julie, this is a very good question!
The truth is that emotions both good and bad are an integral part of the human experience and serve us very well on many levels, the most potent use they serve is as pointers. They point to what our focus is within the realm of thought. Can you step back for a moment and witness the actual thoughts you are having regarding the death of your dog? If you can then I am sure you will find they are what is generating the experience of grief.
For a moment can you put yourself in someone else's shoes who has also lost their dog, however their dog was very sick and suffering for a long time. Now the dog has moved on and the owner is actually relieved and happy for their dog to be in a 'better place'. Sure they miss their dog but the feeling of grief is not there instead there is the feeling of relief.
The major difference here is not necessarily the situation itself. When both the dogs were alive yes, the situations were different, one dog was sick and one was not. However now that they have both passed the situations are exactly the same and the only thing that is different is the perspectives of the different owners. One is feeling grief and one relief.
They way you can shift the emotions you are experiencing is to find a different perspective from which to view the situation of your dog being gone. FInd thoughts that make you feel good about your dog and notice your thoughts when you are not feeling good, then shift perspective and change your thoughts to come from that new perspective. This requires a little effort but will pay massive returns on the emotional level.
Also on a deeper level remember there is nothing wrong with feeling how you are feeling, it is totally valid from your body-mind perspective. We need to realise that there is a deeper unconditional happiness or contentment that we can access during all experiences.
It resides at one step deeper than the level of the witness, the part of you that sees the noticer of the good and bad feelings come and go. This may seem like a very abstract concept just now but it is ultimately where you will find permanent peace within all situations. It becomes more and more prominent the more you recognise it is there. So we recommend asking yourself the question. 'Which part of me is noticing this experience of emotion and is that part of me affected by it?' We have a course which guides you to this place as a continuation of the first free happiness program. You can sign up here for that if you are interested.
Thanks again Julie, I wish you clarity and peace. Tim
